Every other week I write micro blurb reviews of amazing new music. Below is the latest batch of music that you need to check out.

Dwarves – The Dwarves Invented Rock & Roll

Blag & company could literally put sounds of themselves shitting onto tape and it’d still sound better than anything your band will ever dream of. After thirty years The Dwarves are still schooling bands and fans in the art of songwriting, sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll debauchery. The Dwarves Invented Rock & Roll is also a return to form for the punk icons with shorter songs and exploitative lyrics while maintaining exceptional studio production.  If I had to pick a favorite track on this release and believe me the whole record is the tits, it has got to be “Kings of the World” which kind of has this Manowar group chant thing going for it, albeit, I’m pretty sure that Manowar copyright protected chanting the word “Hail” in a song back in ’83.

Not to be missed is the super secret/hidden track “Unpredictable” which features more samples than the entire Beastie Boys discography. Invented Rock & Roll should also please the “fans” that have been lukewarm towards the band since their The Dwarves Must Die album due to that records’ genre blending and high production values. Here’s the thing about The Dwarves- they cannot be constrained to genres. They fucking invented Rock ‘n’ Roll, man. 

Best tracks: Tracks 1-14 or 15 (if you’re super secretive and cool)

Village of Weedville – S/T

Village of Weedville are what the Nobodys would sound like if they came from the deep South instead of Colorado Springs. This is the greatest thing to come from the South since daisy dukes, Georgia peaches (and I’m not talking about the fruit), iced tea and fried chicken.

Best tracks: “Southbound And Down”, “She Eats Pussy”, “Drink, Dance, Stand, Yell! 

Zero Progress – Champions of Hardcore

There’s a time and place for tough guy hardcore. Unfortunately that scene gets shat on by amateur hour bands that pretend to be the new Agnostic Front. Stupid kids, there’s only one Vinnie Stigma. Fortunately Zero Progress manages to bypass the poseurs and brings all the elements that make old school hardcore fun.

Gang vocals? Check.

Ridiculously epic breakdowns? Check.

Anti-authoritarian lyrics? Check.

Zero Progress will make you want to punch through your bedroom wall. Just don’t do it because then you won’t get your rent deposit back. On second thought, punch the fucking wall, keep blasting Champions of Hardcore and then knock your landlord the fuck out when he threatens to withhold your deposit money.

Best tracks: “Cutthroat”, “Road Warriors”

Wimps / Pony Time Cassette Split

Seattle bands Wimps and Pony Time combine forces to release a four track cassette, two songs by each band of lo-fi apocalyptic awesomeness. Every song on here is an eleven. ‘Nuff said!

Best tracks: Pony Time  “Ol’ Poop Face”, Wimps  “It’s a Trap ”

The Antidont’s – 32 oz To Failure

The Antidont’s are a punk band from Port Charlotte, Florida. I’ve been to Port Charlotte, do you know what people do there? They fucking move, kill themselves or die of old age. The Antidont’s are easily the finest thing to ever happen to that shit hole of a town and they can easily hold their own statewide. Please don’t kill yourselves Antidon’ts.. please just move. xoxo -Chuck Livid.

Best tracks: “You’ve Been Smoochin’ With Everybody”, “Fuck Your Institution”

The Dwarves slider photo was taken by photographer extraordinaire John Gilhooley. Check his work out at http://johngilhooley.com

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Chuck Livid

Chuck Livid hails from Miami, Florida. He did a zine in the '90s called Muddy Chaos and is best known for his work with independent music label Livid Records. Chuck lives in Boca Raton, Fl with his wife illustrator Helena Garcia and their son Nico. He founded TuffGnarl.com and hosts TuffGnarl.com's official music podcast - Another Music Podcast which is available on iTunes & Google Play

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