This Sucks! TUFF GNARL Staffers Pick: The Top 10 Most Embarrassing-to-Own ‘90s Albums

B&B

The ‘90s, as an era of music, was one of stark contrasts. On one hand, MTV actually still played music videos, there was widespread acceptance of hip hop and electronica as respected art forms, ‘80s hair metal was in its death throes and Beavis and Butthead were there to call out every lame band that played on their TV screen. And on the other hand…

Well, that’s why we’re all here right now, isn’t it?

In our last list, our TUFF GNARL staffers offered up their personal picks of the top 10 best albums of the ‘90s. The response we received varied from enthusiastic agreement to indignant, venomous objection. How dare any of us suggest Guns N’ Roses’ Use Your Illusion (Vol. I or II – take your pick; both made it onto lists) as being among the best albums of the decade? Pearl Jam, you say!? What is this, Opposite Day? In the can with ‘em!

Needless to say, much like our own staffers, no one could quite agree on a definitive top 10 best-of list but everyone could pooh-pooh everyone else’s. It is with that spirit in mind that we bring you the top 10 albums we thought we liked at the time – which we bought and listened to enthusiastically for a spell (or likely longer) – but, as it turns out in retrospect, were complete and utter rubbish. The aural Edsels. The sometimes guilty pleasures. The eventual stock of every CD exchange store, everywhere.

Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you yet another walk down memory lane: In discriminating order, here are our picks for the top 10 most embarrassing ‘90s albums we ever owned. Please don’t judge too harshly.

Nelson-ATR

JESSE SCHECKNER
For the most part, my folks listened to relatively decent music, and they had scruples when it came to teaching me the value of good tunes and how to identify them. When I became old enough to start wanting to develop my own musical tastes and begin construction on my fledgling cassette tape collection (I must have been six or so), my father was steadfast in his assertion that, if he were to buy me anything on our occasional trips to Spec’s or Peaches Records and Tapes, it would be something from The Beatles, the Beach Boys or from a classical composer. By the time the ‘90s hit a couple years later – popping the auditory bubble I was encased in – I acquired, in my delirious frenzy, some real musical shit biscuits. Here is a taste of said biscuits.

1. Nelson – After the Rain (1990)
Oh my fucking God just stop what you’re doing and go watch the video for the title track. Here’s a link (the good stuff starts at roughly 1:15 in). I’ll wait. I got my mom to buy me this album because of that video. I was eight years old and, to me, this was some edgy stuff. The angsty kid (who, looking at this now, was probably in his mid-20s at the time of filming) locked away in his room, the neon lit rock pit arena, the creepy platinum blonde long-haired identical twin brothers to whom the laws of time and space don’t apply… this was mondo cock rock and I thought it was awesome.

2. Vanilla Ice – To the Extreme (1990)
In my prodigious early awakening as a beacon for musical greatness, I bestowed my impeccable taste – spearheaded by this album in particular – upon no less than five of my friends. Now and then, they remind me that I not only learned all the lyrics to all of the songs on the album, but I insisted on performing them for anyone that was willing to sit through it. Someone shoot me.

3. Poison – Native Tongue (1993)
In my humble opinion (further humbled by each addition admission I make on this list I can’t believe I was eager to compile), Poison peaked with 1990’s Flesh and Blood, with standout tracks such as “(Flesh & Blood) Sacrifice,” “Unskinny Bop,” “Let It Play” and “Something to Believe In,” which I still believe to this very day is an exceptional composition, both musically and lyrically. After giving C.C. DeVille the boot as a result of his love affair with nose candy, they hired Richie Kotzen and released this musical megadump. Aside from the gorgeous instrumental “Richie’s Acoustic Thang,” Native Tongue was dreadfully bad.

4. P.M. Dawn – Of the Heart, of the Soul and of the Cross: The Utopian Experience (1991)
Bolstered by essentially the same stock drum track that made up the beat of nearly half of the tame, radio-friendly hip-hop tracks in the late ‘80s/early ‘90s, and overlaid with samples from the 1983 Spandau Ballet hit, “True,” “Set Adrift on Memory Bliss” had me transfixed. If we’re being honest, I’ll still crank that number up any time it plays, anywhere. The rest of the album? Nope. As a young pre-Bar Mitzvahed Jewish kid, I wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of Jesus-themed tracks. I subsequently passed on their follow-up albums, The Bliss Album…?; Jesus Wept; Dearest Christian, I’m So Very Sorry for Bringing You Here. Love, Dad; and the 2000 mental implosion that was F*cked Music.

5. DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince – Homebase (1991)
Well, it did win an American Music Award, so I can’t be the only one who gave this a few spins. For a bonus, “You Saw My Blinker” happens to be one of only two times that Will Smith curses in his music. The hypocrite.

6. Kriss Kross – Totally Krossed Out (1992)
“Jump” was fun, I guess. The backwards clothing thing was pretty idiotic, however. Although I myself didn’t attempt to adopt their patented look, I had a few friends that did. I’m sure they’re very proud of themselves now.  To this day, I still feel bad that when Chris Kelly (the “Mac Daddy” to Chris Smith’s “Daddy Mac”) passed away last year my first impulse was to joke that they had buried him in a backwards suit, upside-down. I’m sorry.

7. Hammer – Too Legit to Quit (1991)
Here’s how much of a doofus I was: halfway through “2 Legit 2 Quit,” when they say, “get buck” (whatever the fuck that means) a bunch of times, I was so sure that they were saying, “kick butt,” that I made sure to point it out to the few kids unfortunate enough to hang out with me during this dark period in my life. I thought that it was just way too much badassery to go unnoticed.

8. Silverchair – Frogstomp (1995)
Lyrically asinine, musically uninventive and genre-advancing by no stretch of the imagination, this was right up my imbecilic 13-year-old alley.

9. EMF – Schubert Dip (1991)
I bought this album, as everyone else on planet Earth did, because of its infectious sixth track. A couple years later, when I was able to convince three other dudes to let me sing in a band with them, we covered “Unbelievable,” with our  guitarist doing the Andrew Dice Clay “What the fuck!” bits into the side mic. Good times. The rest of this album was wholly forgettable.

10. Slash’s Snakepit – It’s Five O’clock Somewhere (1995)
If we’re being fair, I think that we all were kind of hoping that something would rise out of the wreckage that was once Guns N’ Roses. In talking bad albums, The Spaghetti Incident? would’ve been the obvious choice, but I never bought that record (though, in my infinite wisdom, I convinced my too-trusting friend, Will, to buy it). When Slash formed this “supergroup” with former GnR, Alice in Chains and Jellyfish members, I was given hope. Then this asstastic debut dropped and it was renowned by critics. They still hold to their opinions to this day, as do I. It sucks.

ElGeneral

CHUCK LIVID
There’s nothing joyous about the list below. After scavenging through my CD/tape collection I ask myself, WHY? I firmly believe that TuffGnarl.com editor Jesse Scheckner is playing with our deepest, darkest emotions by putting this list out to the public. Soon, I will burn all these tapes and CDs, and maybe then will I find closure and be able to move on.

1. El General – Muevelo Con El General (1992)
Back in 1991, my stepdad was really concerned about my fascination with American rock music. To cleanse the house of this devil-worshipping music, he bought me El General’s Muevelo Con El General, on cassette, in 1991. Years later, I discovered the Dwarves and nothing has been the same since.

2. Guns N’ Roses – The Spaghetti Incident? (1993)
The Spaghetti Incident? is one of rock’s biggest let-downs. Today, everyone bitches about Chinese Democracy. That’s just an easy a target, as far as I’m concerned. You’re scratching your head asking, “Why is The Spaghetti Incident? worse than Chinese Democracy?” Because Slash, Matt, Duff and Axl were ALL involved with this disaster of a cover album.

2. Metallica – Load (1996)
Load is where it all went wrong with Metallica. Haircuts, radio-friendlier songs than the black album and scheduled bending-over sessions for the corporate label masters to get off. I haven’t bought another Metallica album since.

3. Vanilla Ice – To the Extreme (1990)
Fuck you. I’ll still tear this album up. No lie. In private.

4. Tag Team – Whoomp! (There It Is) (1993)
My younger cousin tore up Tag Team’s Whoomp! (There It Is) for like three weeks solid in 1993. Seriously, he’d play it in his mom’s car, in his bedroom, in the bathroom… it was always on at his house. How did it all end? I fucking stole his tape and now proudly own it. I did what had to be done. Sorry, Vinny.

5. Crash Test Dummies – God Shuffled His Feet (1993)
Why the fuck did I spend money on this? I remember picking up this album at a used CD store in South Miami (The CD Connection). What’s worse, I chose this over The Ramones’ Too Tough to Die. There’s a special part of hell awaiting me.

6. D Generation – No Lunch (1996)
Being Mr. Cool Guy, I picked up this jewel case-wrapped turd nugget thinking it looked “punk.” Yeah, don’t laugh – you were that asshole kid too, at some point. This is one of the worst records ever put to compact disc.

7. M.C. Hammer – Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em (1990)
One thing M.C. Hammer has is a demanding voice. He demanded that EVERYONE in America buy this album. I don’t give a fuck what you think – I’ll still listen to this. I haven’t in 20 years, but maybe one day…

8. Kriss Kross – Totally Krossed Out (1992)
This came out when I was in the fifth grade. It still sounds like something a fifth grader would listen to today, except you’d have to add electronica (ala Skrillex) parts and Abercrombie & Fitch clothing (worn on the correct side).

9. Ugly Kid Joe – America’s Least Wanted (1992)
I bought this to impress a girl that I had a crush on in middle school. She was a tall, blonde rocker girl with a huge ol’ gap in her teeth. Today, at 32, I realize how fucking lucky I am that she realized what a poser I was and decided not to suck my dick. Proud to say I’m STD free to this day. Thank you, Ugly Kid Joe.

10. Silverchair – Frogstomp (1995)
I was 14 years old when Frogstomp came out. Now, 19 years later, I look at this CD in my hand I ask myself, “Why have I been lugging this shit around with me for NINTEEN FUCKING YEARS!?” Bonfire time!

Vanilla

ABEL FOLGAR
Embarrassing albums exist all the time, almost as a rule. You can’t have a universally agreed upon awesome platter without some real stinkers clogging the way. Some albums are embarrassing for different reasons: a) maybe you like it but worry about what others might think, b) bought it on a whim for one song and the full work fails to impress and then you’re that guy who bought a whole album for one song and/or c) the album morphs into a monster and ear-sore as you age and expand your musical tastes. I think all three apply to me.

1. Vanilla Ice – To the Extreme (1990)
I am a man and as such I am not infallible. I’ve made many, many mistakes in life. I bought this cassette at a time when I was still trying to forge a musical identity within these shores. You’d think that Spanish New Wave and Ramones albums would’ve been easier to find at Spec’s Records and Tapes but no! The album as a whole is rubbish but “Ice Ice Baby” is still thoroughly enjoyable in my opinion.

2. MU330 – Chumps on Parade (1996)
Nothing against this band or album in particular, to be honest. The reasons for it being an embarrassment to me lie within the carnal adventures two friends of mine regaled us with at the time involving this particular disc locked in on the “repeat” function of the CD player. I can’t help but give a cringed chuckle whenever I see the one-two punch of tracks “Hot Dog” and “Inside Me.” Good grief.

3. N.W.A. – Niggaz4Life (1991)
This album was an embarrassment for the obvious reason: no Cube, no dice. At least that’s how I felt about it in the ‘90s. The problem, you see, is back then I let some stupid notions guide my light. I was wrong. I’ve since revisited the album and come to appreciate some subtle nuances in it. For example, did you know Black Flag is sampled on the opening track? Right? Right.

4. Paul Simon – The Rhythm of the Saints (1990)
Paul Simon is a poetic genius. There is absolutely nothing he can do that would be wrong in my eyes. He was the fifty percent to a generation’s most influential troubadours, he bagged Princess Leia in the slave outfit, he’s gone on to show America how cool World sounds are and much, much more, however this was one CD I never brought out in front of company because, in the ‘90s, teenagers were very unkind towards obese immigrants.

5. NOFX – Punk in Drublic (1994)
Yes, I was an Epitaph Records whore. I bought everything on that label without discriminating. This is an album that was thoroughly enjoyable the first hundred times and eventually became a thorn in the record collection. It wouldn’t be until The Great Purge of 2006 that I would finally part ways with the one disc that made me dislike a band I had previously enjoyed. Maybe one day I’ll rekindle the affair. Or not.

6. Hammer – Too Legit To Quit (1991)
1990’s Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em was a fun party record. Don’t say it wasn’t, because you were at that party performing an influenced-by-epilepsy break dancing move in your baggy Z. Cavariccis and shiny patent leather shoes with the metal tips, so don’t fucking front. That album was fun and still might be if you want to hide it under the umbrella of kitsch. This 1991 follow-up that was purchased on the strength of the other? Not so much.

7. Juan Luis Guerra y 440 – Bachata Rosa (1990)
First of all, you can’t claim any form of Latin credit if you don’t own this merengue classic, but for a time there in the ‘90s, you couldn’t be punk rock and play this for your friends. Oh no. This was the big, secret gun you pulled on that chick sophomore year when you wanted to slide yourself up her skirt and grab some thigh. I was embarrassed then for some remarkably stupid and rather chauvinistic reasons. I’m happy to report that this and many other albums by Dominican artists are at home in my collection currently.

8. Ace of Base – Happy Nation (1993)
I know, I know. ABBA this wasn’t and ABBA’s untouchable in my book, but my God was I swindled by this. Bought for that song we all know too well. Even over twenty years later and the rest of the album failed to impress. My copy, along with many, many more died rather quickly in a CD Solution bin months after acquisition. I wasn’t the only one swindled.

9. House of Pain – House Of Pain (1992)
“Jump Around” is still an awesome song. It will be for a long time. It was a perfect storm. The rest of the album was a perfectly disheveled public latrine. And I know where I went wrong. Oh, I know. I remember like it was yesterday, but twenty-two years ago at the store they had the full album next to the cassette single. I should’ve bought that. I could’ve lived a grand life from there on out without ever experiencing the agony of the other seventeen tracks.

10. The Rippingtons – Curves Ahead (1991)
I love jazz and its many variants. I wish jazz was happening outside my window right now. I bought this album on the recommendation of a friend. This is the skinny regarding this album: a) not all jazz is good, b) especially if preceded by the word “smooth,” and c) some people are just not meant to be friends and/or be making musical suggestions based on what they perceive as good. The Rippingtons certainly have their following, but why can’t they apply their skill set on something more worthy?

JoanJett

MATTHEW FORSTER
Surprisingly (or maybe not surprisingly… whatever) the “Top Ten ‘90s Albums I Am Most Embarrassed to Own” was a far easier list to create than my “Top Ten Best Albums of the ‘90s.” Initially, I thought I would have to make less of a case for the albums on this list but, as I created it, I realized that I’m able to make more of a case for them because I am (mostly) defensive about my embarrassing tastes. As a longtime guitar player, I think my reason for liking these albums (in spite of my shame, which I am just now publicizing for you), will be obvious. Fortunately Coldplay’s first album didn’t drop until 2000.

1. Joan Jett and the Blackhearts – Notorious (1991)
Pure and simple (joke there for those who get it), I love Joan Jett. As a guitar player, this automatically makes me fodder for other players who think she’s a garbage guitarist. Just as I am not ashamed to say that “I Hate Myself for Loving You” is a fun song to play, Notorious is a fun album to listen to, though not her best, and I defy you to listen to “The Only Good Thing (You Ever Said was Goodbye)” and not move your head even the tiniest bit. Songs like “Backlash” (co-written by The Replacements’ Paul Westerberg) is a good example of Jett’s transition from perennially ambiguous glam rocker/punk rocker to becoming the elder stateswoman of rock.

2. L7 – Bricks are Heavy (1992)
I don’t care what you think, “Pretend We’re Dead” is a good song and Donita Sparks can kick your ass.  While the term “Riot Grrl” gets slapped on groups like this – hence why I should be embarrassed by liking it – I’ve always found L7 to be more alt-metal than anything else. All the same, you definitely get looks when people go through your album collection and see the breakthrough album of a band most known for a lead singer (Sparks) who whipped her used tampon into an unruly crowd.

3. Spin Doctors Pocket Full of Kryptonite (1991)
Oh whatever, like you didn’t. I like the intro riff to “Two Princes.” Sue me.

4. Creed – Human Clay (1999)
The only reason a Scott Stapp-fronted band is not number one on this list is because after he left the group to create comedy albums (note: his solo albums are actually not intended to be comical) the remaining band members formed Alter Bridge, a not-too-awful metal band. They’re popular in Europe, OK?  And Myles Kennedy… never mind.  Human Clay does contain some very decent heavy riffs and steady rhythm tracks, but there’s still that whole Scott Stapp thing…

5. Blues TravelerFour (1994)
Back when John Popper was fat and wheezing into his harmonica, I didn’t really know what a jam band was and, frankly, “Run-Around” was pretty strong melodically speaking. That single enticed me to buy the album which, theoretically, is a rock album and it’s sort of all over the place after the opening track. Basically its bad white guy blues.

6. Counting Crows – August and Everything After (1993)
MTV played a sinister role in my buying this album. I liked “Mr. Jones,” learned to play it fairly quickly by ear, and remember watching the music video numerous times. I guess you call this “introspective rock,” which is sort of funny considering Adam Duritz suffers from dissociative disorder, where reality is questionable to him. The reality is this album sucks and I still want my 12 dollars back, Duritz, you fuck.

7. Blink-182 – Enema of the State (1999)
Enema is right. I don’t really know what I was thinking when I purchased this turd. I supposed I liked the chord progressions (that a monkey could’ve written) to “What’s My Age Again,” and “All The Small Things.” Still, it’s kind of catchy, and when I hear either of those songs I’ll bob my head for a minute before making certain no one saw me and changing the station.

8. Sugar Ray – Floored (1997)
I’m not going to defend this one. I liked “Fly” because I was into that quasi-Reggae sound back then.  Sadly (or not sadly), the rest of the album sounds nothing like “Fly” and is a pretty awful combination of metal so shitty it sounds like bad punk. You almost have to try to suck that hard.

9. Tony Bennett – MTV: Unplugged (1994)
I will stick up for this album in spite of the fact that is a fairly lame album of which to claim ownership. “Fly Me to the Moon” and “They Can’t Take That Away From Me” (I like Gershwin) are good tracks and this was the album that, if nothing else, helped me to round out my developing tastes because it introduced me to Cole Porter and Irving Berlin. And, hey, Elvis Costello and k.d. lang guest on this record, and I like both of them. The latter adds to the importance of placing this album on the list.

10. Shelby Lynne – I Am Shelby Lynne (1999)
I don’t care if her primary genre is country, I am and unapologetic Shelby Lynne fan. She’s made a career outside the mainstream country garbage by working with a variety of producers and always maintaining a high level of artistic credibility. While she did win the “Best New Artist” Grammy for this album, she’d been around for years and she’s still around and still making great music. Listen to her album of Dusty Springfield covers if you don’t believe me.

spicegirls

RICHARD BUZNEGO
In my time as a youth in the ’90s, there was one beacon of what’s going on and what could happen next in the music world: a basic cable channel called Music Television. From there, one could immerse him or herself in music videos of almost any popular music genre (except the island unto itself that is country music) and know what is going to be popular in their school’s lunchroom that week. That being said, it wasn’t an exact science. Sometimes popular is a very “in the moment” kind of thing and doesn’t quite pan out into timeless or classic. Sometimes, you hear those “misses” and they just take you back. These albums, for me, are those misses. These are the albums I prefer to listen to alone, as to not ruin my rep.

1. Spice Girls – Spice (1997)
This one I hold near and dear to me. When these five caricatured Brits emerged onto the American pop music scene, before “Posh and Becks” was remotely a thing, there was a lot of hype, a Beatlemania of sorts, but unabashedly aimed at young girls, yet for some odd reason I fell for it too. The songs were undeniably catchy, and the fact that they were quite attractive helped considerably. Yes, I do own a copy of their movie Spice World as well as this album on cassette. In fact, it was the answer to my “most private thing you’re willing to admit” question on my OKCupid.com profile. And even with that, I still got the girl. Good thing she never held it against me… much.

2. New Kids on the Block – Step by Step (1990)
You ever had those very loud neighbors who for the life of them won’t turn their music down? When I was 10 years old, mine was my older sister. While I was content to play with my Ninja Turtle action figures, she was taping pinups of Jordan Knight from BOP Magazine on her ceiling and blasting New Kids on the Block for the entire house to hear. Before the term even came into existence, I fell victim to an earworm. I almost looked forward to hearing songs like “Tonight” and “Let’s try it Again,” Although I would never let my sister know that (secret’s out now though, isn’t it?). Years later, I immediately copped my own cassette copy at a thrift store for personal listening in my car’s tape deck.

3. TLC – Oooooooh… On The TLC Tip (1992)
Fun. All sorts of fun. That’s what this album is. It totally doesn’t have the cred that the Atlanta Trio’s second album CrazySexyCool has, but I don’t care. “What About Your Friends” is a jam, and Left Eye is supposed to wear a condom on that eye. Dammit.

4. Fuel – Sunburn (1998)
Yup, now it’s getting real. In all its underbite vocal, drop D-tuned guitar glory, I own the alt-rock band Fuel’s debut disc, Sunburn. On vinyl, no less. I performed the hit single “Shimmer” at a high school talent show. I think my mother even tape recorded that performance for posterity. This band was the first concert I ever attended. And even at the time, it was uncool to like this band or own this album, but I still have it. “Jesus or a Gun” was gritty and guitar driven in just the right way to strike my teenage fancy.

5. Korn – Follow the Leader (1998)
For all my teenage brain cared, Korn were the same kind of caricatures that the Spice Girls were, but for a time it was OK to say to my classmates that I listened to this album. Watching the video for “Got the Life” debut on MTV’s 120 Minutes was just enough to satiate the elitist in me; they were underground, and possible the next big thing. It was a good CD to let off steam to; “Dead Bodies Everywhere” was a good jam after a rough day of high school drama and a bad math test score.

6. The Rembrandts – LP (1995)
That. Damn. Song. “I’ll Be There For You” became the theme song to Jennifer Aniston’s hair, hip coffee shops, and the cute little monkey from the movie Outbreak, so being a fan of the TV show Friends, my sister bought the Rembrandts’ album, LP. I borrowed it, wanting to learn how to play the theme song for all the girls at school to ogle over. I listened to the rest of the record. While my initial reaction was “jangle pop, but not as good as Matthew Sweet,” I continued to listen…Over and over again. “April 29” and “This House is not a Home” were sugary sweet pop gems that may have received credibility if released in the 1960s, but they were just a Beatles-by-way-of-The-Knack-inspired photocopy of a photocopy in the ’90s. I guess it just wasn’t any good. Oh well.

7. Matchbox 20 – Yourself or Someone Like You (1996)
Back when Miami had a rock n’ roll radio station, they had a “locals only” program that came on Sunday nights. I tuned in religiously, wanting to be a part of “the scene” in my hometown. I remember listening to bands like A New Found Glory, Hot Water Music and… Matchbox 20. Being that they were from Florida, I was immediately drawn to them. I fell hook, line, and sinker for “Long Day” when it came on the radio that night. In fact, this was the first CD I ever wore out and immediately went out and bought another copy of. But alas, once their second album, Mad Season was released, I realized, “What the hell was I thinking?”

8. Hanson – Middle of Nowhere (1997)
I’ve always a soft spot for family bands. From The Jackson 5 to the Partridge Family to Thrice, making music with a sibling is something I hold dear and have done myself with my brother in my own band, Space Station 5. Once I got over the whole “3 androgynous looking kids with blonde hair” thing, I gave the single “MMM Bop” a chance. Once I had learned that the wholesome Oklahoma Teen sensations had worked with production duo the Dust Brothers (yes, of Paul’s Boutique fame) on some of the tracks on Middle of Nowhere, I had a listen the rest of the album. Still to this day, I think “Weird” is a perfectly crafted pop tune, and my Hanson CD still sits proudly in my messy stack of CDs.

9. Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories – Tails (1995)
After Ethan Hawke had plucked a then-unknown Lisa Loeb and her band Nine Stories to record the song “Stay” for the soundtrack to Reality Bites, some were wondering what was next for the New York songwriter. She was promptly signed to Geffen Records and released Tails. I had so loved the song “Stay (I missed You)” that I stole this CD from my sister and claimed it as my own. It was refreshing to hear a female vocal for me, and since the majority of my guitar playing in high school was acoustic (I played back up for my school church choir) it was familiar sounding. The song “Taffy” was a fun romp, almost in a rocking way, and “Hurricane” is still a very haunting tune. It was just never considered cool to own this album, whether one had gone to the Lilith Fair or not.

10. Spin Doctors – Pocket Full of Kryptonite (1991)
Everyone liked that “Two Princes” song, but I was a true fan, I knew about them since their first single “Little Miss Can’t be Wrong.” At least, that was the argument in my mind. This alternative rock outfit (Which was more of a Jam band in alt-rock clothing) made a name for themselves with this album. The spacey, blues-based tones of Eric Shenkman’s guitar struck a chord with my lead guitarist wannabe self. Hell, I even purchased the sheet music for the album (with guitar tablature) so I could play along with my cassette. I still doodle the opening riff to “Jimmy Olsen’s Blues” every time I pick up an electric guitar, and for a lovelorn, constantly “friend-zoned” youth like myself, “How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)?” was like therapy for my feels.

Hammer

Some interesting things to take away from this:

Only one album was chosen more than twice:
Vanilla Ice – To the Extreme had three mentions in total.

One artist was mentioned three times – (M.C.) Hammer – for:
Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em
Too Legit To Quit

The albums upon which two of our staffers agreed are:
Kris Kross – Totally Krossed Out
Silverchair – Frogstomp
Spin Doctors – Pocket Full of Kryptonite

The most terrible year, according to our staffers, was 1991, with nine entries out of fifty possible falling into that year alone.

1998, on the other hand, was the least awful year, as only two picks came from that year. Both came from Richard Buznego, however. Hey Richard, what’s your deal with 1998, anyway!?

Got any lists you’d like us to do? Drop us a line at <submit@tuffgnarl.com>, through our Facebook page (which you should LIKE) or via Twitter (where you should follow us).

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Jesse Scheckner

A freelance MMA, entertainment and business journo born, raised and residing in Miami, FL, Jesse Scheckner is a former semi-serious musician, cinephile and recovering ne’er-do-well who still believes Mickey Rourke’s finest performance in film has yet to come. He is TuffGnarl.com's editor-in-chief, a feature staff writer for MMASucka.com and the 2014 MMA Media Correspondent winner at the Florida MMA Awards. Follow him on Twitter @JesseScheckner to talk about the stuff he writes about with him.

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