WWE Hell In a Cell: Return of the Lackluster Pay-Per-View
Just as I thought, WWE couldn’t get a streak of good pay-per-views going. After the last few events have delivered in storyline and intrigue, Hell in a Cell seemed to drop the ball. With what was expected to be a great culmination of the Ambrose/Rollins storyline falling flat and the billionth Cena vs. Orton match, there was very little to capture my full attention. Here’s my breakdown of the night.
(C) Will be the indicator of champion heading into the match.
Mark Henry vs. Bo Dallas
This match lasted 36 seconds. Henry dismantled Dallas quickly and saved us from sitting through these two going at it longer than necessary. That is really the redeeming quality of the match.
I hate Bo Dallas. While this match had no intrigue for me, it was nice that it was gone in less than a minute.
Two-out-of-Three Falls Match for the Intercontinental Championship
Dolph Ziggler (C) vs. Cesaro
This match was a shining moment on a dismal show. Two of WWE’s best going at it in a two-out-of-three falls match. Ziggler and Cesaro both showed their amazing in-ring abilities and athleticism. It was less of a perfect back-and-forth contest of technical wrestling and more of a chess match with move and counter-move. In a rare act by WWE in a best of three, this match ended with a clean sweep by Ziggler over Cesaro to retain the title.
These two are the real future of this company along with Rollins and Ambrose. Their in-ring ability is great and they aren’t giants, which is usually the type that WWE focuses on for pushes.
Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella
The second-shortest match of the night, thankfully. The rivalry between the twins was hyped up a few months ago but quickly fell to the back of everyone’s mind because, frankly, no one cares. WWE has botched what could have been a good storyline again. Both ladies looked lackluster, like neither of them actually cared about the match. In the end, Nikki defeated Brie to very little fanfare with the fans having little to no reaction.
No redeeming quality about the storyline. Nothing interesting about this rivalry. My six and a half minutes could be spent better on many things.
Tag Team Championship Match
Goldust and Stardust (C) vs. The Usos
As much as I mark out over the Dust Brothers, this story has run its course as well. Both teams are extremely talented and put on a good show. This was just another Monday Night Raw match between the two teams. Nothing special to really boost the rivalry or add to the story. WWE seems to have realized that $9.99 for the network means we don’t need or deserve a higher quality match.
Nothing special. As always I love seeing the Dust brothers and still say they are the best tag team in WWE.
Hell in a Cell Match
John Cena vs Randy Orton
Oh look. Cena and Orton are fighting again. Shocking. Honestly, I don’t dislike either wrestler but they have battled so many times that it’s just stale. Adding the stipulation of it being a Hell in a Cell match, I thought we would see something a bit more extreme. Both wrestlers put in a decent match and the continued aggression streak by Cena has me a little more intrigued, but this was nothing more than a typical match between the two, but surround by a cage. What bothers me is Hell in a Cell is supposed to be a match that “changes careers, messes up the psyche and can break a man in half,” but Cena walked out no bruises, no injuries and looking stronger than when he walked in. Career altering match eh?
Good match, but for a Hell in a Cell match it was just okay. I wish they had made it look more taxing and sold the ideology behind the cage match.
United State Championship Match
Sheamus (C) vs. The Miz (with Damien Mizdow)
This match was hilarious, not because of the wrestlers, but thanks to Damien Mizdow (Sandow). Every hit, every move, every gesture that The Miz made, his “stunt double” did it better. The match itself wasn’t awful, with a lot of good back and forth between Miz and Sheamus, but all focus for the match was on Mizdow and his antics. As expected, Sheamus dismantled Miz and retained the US Championship.
Half of the grade is from the match. The other half for Mizdow for keeping me laughing about 10 minutes straight.
Rusev (with Lana) vs. Big Show
I find myself on repeat again. Make the Rusev/Russian Superiority storyline go away. I am all about the classic storylines, but this whole “Neo-Cold War” angle is killing me. It’s not entertaining, intriguing or even humorous. With the Big Show looking like he was going to put Rusev down, finally ending this storyline, Mark Henry came out to “celebrate” with Big Show. This served more as a distraction and allowed Rusev to turn the table, putting Big Show in The Accolade for the submission finish.
What should have ended this abysmal storyline ended up just continuing it. On top of it, what should have been an immediate heel turn by Henry was just delayed, leaving the segment feeling empty.
WWE Divas Championship Match
AJ Lee (C) vs. Paige
Another match that was nothing more than a repeat of previous Raw encounters. While I do enjoy the rivalry and instability of both of these ladies, nothing really wowed me. It was just a decent back and forth match that ended with AJ applying the Black Widow and making Paige tap out to retain the Divas belt.
Nothing special again. The storyline between these two has run its course, but WWE will probably have it shoved down our throats for another couple months because AJ and Paige are on a tier above the rest of the Divas locker room.
Hell in a Cell Match
Seth Rollins vs Dean Ambrose
Finally, a match we deserve. Ambrose and Rollins immediately went at it, scaling the cage and fighting on top for a bit. Well, what goes up must come down, as both men took a dive off the side of the cage and through the announce tables. Both men were strapped to stretchers, but Ambrose wasn’t having it and pulled himself and Rollins in the cell. Things stayed fast and violent, as chairs, kendo sticks, tables and the cage itself were used as weapons. When it looked like Ambrose was about to pick up the victory, the lights went out. Ominous chants echoed as a lantern illuminated in the center of the ring with a hologram of Bray Wyatt playing on smoke coming through it. Suddenly, Wyatt appeared and quickly ran through Ambrose, allowing Rollins to sneak in and get a quick three count.
This match should have ended naturally between the two fighters then have Wyatt get involved. All the fans have been waiting to see Rollins and Ambrose go at it clean and just when we thought we finally got it, the ending steals from the match.
Overall Grade: C-
This could have been three great ones in a row but for the poor story development. The Hell in a Cell matches were both good, however the consistent description of it being “career altering and extreme” only made me feel that the Cena/Orton match fell way short. I hope Survivor Series next month gives me something more enjoyable to watch.
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